Duck Murder


I was out with Meredith getting a ride to the Russian River Brewing Company for a drink, and Meredith pointed out a little duck in a road. Not quite full grown, but still duck-shaped and duck-colored.  It wasn’t near any place that has ducks. There was no good reason for the duck to be in the road.

It was on the opposite side of the road, in the lane closest to us. Worried and enamoured by the little duck, Mere slowed down and stopped to watch the duck in the rear-view. “Oh, no!” she said, as the cars came from the opposite direction. “Oh, good they stopped,” she added.

Then she screamed “Oh, my God! What the fuck? Don’t run it over!” as the woman who had stopped in front of the duck began slowly rolling over it. “Oh, fuck, I saw it go under the front tire then the back. Oh my fucking God!”

Yeah, I thought it was one of the more disturbing things I’ve witnessed in person, but then the nearly-crying Meredith flipped a U-turn and went back to see if there was hope.


No. It was twitching, squished open and steaming. I almost barfed.

Why did she turn around?

Also, what the fuck is wrong with that woman. Other people went around the carcass and she couldn’t go around a little baby animal?

Dusting it Off.


I’ve been very depressed lately. I will be backfilling the events of the last 5 or 6 weeks soon.

It’s Dead and I’m Screwed


A radiator hose came loose on the freeway and my engine cooked. I put everything back together and put in coolant. It didn’t start on the freeway. It may start tomorrow, but it’s not looking good.

My friend Rachel was the only person whom I could think of to call. She came out, helped me get coolant and her mother let her use AAA to get me towed home. It was the second time this car had been on a tow truck in a month and a half.

It was the second car to blow up in a month in a half.

I think it’s time to close up shop and go live in Washington with Alia. Even the task of getting someone to take my stuff and take over the lease seems to daunting for me to handle.

I’m depressed.

All that time and effort and money in that car and it’s gone.

I wish I was the type of person who yelled and hit things because it would keep me from crying so fucking much.

Open Letter to an S.O.B.


I bought this car with the money that my friends gave me when I was down. I almost have it fixed. It needed a fuel-pump (in tank) fuel filter, air filter, oil change, radiator hoses, plugs, wires, distributor cap, rotor, fan belt, alternator and battery. The break pads were glazed, so I roughened them a little and they were fine.

Well, yesterday I thought I would take it on it’s longest road test to date. I took it to the DMV. It cost me $500 because I had to pay 3 years of back-registration.

“I know I signed that piece of paper that says there was no warranty, but I feel like you were less than forthcomming with all the problems with the car. The fuel pump, the alternator, just about every replacable part on the car needed replaced. The last straw was having to pay 3 years of back registration at the DMV. You said you were using this car about a year ago. Were you using it illegally or did you stretch the truth in the ad? You said it was reliable and kept in running condition. It was not. You also said it had a CD player. It didn’t even have that. Except for the part about the fenders and needing a new paint job to make it sparkle, I’m not sure there was a true statement in the entire ebay ad.

I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about this, but I thought I would let you know how peeved I am. All my friends warned me about buying cars on Ebay. I just laughed and said “Hey, if you can’t trust people, who can you trust?” Who’d of though optimism would be such a mistake?”

And in the back of my mind, I kind of feel like my stupid mistake means I’ve let a lot of people down.

Segways are Dangerous


Today I was walking down a narrow hallway to the bathroom at the mall. As I reached a corner a security guard on a segway clobbered me and knocked me over. I pulled it down while I was falling and he and the machine landed on top of me. It’s a good thing he was wearing a helmet because his head brushed the wall.

We’re both okay.

He was sorry, which is good because he was moving down a narrow hallway around a blind corner going at jogging speed.

I should’ve asked him for a ride on it.

The crime rates have nearly halved in the US in the past two decades. According to, crime rates have fallen from about 5.86 percent in 1991 to nearly 2.86 percent in 2016.