Randomness From Craigslist.org

02.22.2007

I found this posting on Craig’s List. It was entitled “Can a plane fly upside down?”

It said:

Some aircraft can fly upside down, some can not.

Have you never seen the Thunderbirds, or any military jet fighters in flight? Any aircraft capable of aerobatics can fly upside down, and lemme tell ya, it is a trip!

Commercial airliners, on the other hand, can not, at least for very long with much hope of recovery.

There are no vacuums within the Earth’s atmosphere.

The rest of your questions are far too vague to answer.

I have no idea what any of this was in response to, but it was too odd not to reply.

I replied:

There are no perfect vacuums anywhere, except the tiny spaces between atoms. Even in space, it’s a partial vacuum consisting of sparse (but ubiquitous) hydrogen atoms. Technically there are vacuums within the Earth’s atmosphere, because a vacuum is just a pressure gradient within one or more liquids or gasses that has not been equalized.

Since the universe is, in theory and at the most, only as far across as the age of the universe (the time it’s had to expand) times a little less than the speed of light (as fast as it can possibly be expanding.)   I used to assume that outside the crest of the universes ever expanding wave, outside the outer edge, one might find a perfect vacuum.   I am told that this is probably not true, because a vaccum is ‘something’, so there would be an inconceivable nothingness, which would be somehow different than a vaccuum. I think my guess is just as reasonable as any. Whatever.

Though…. why concern  ourselves with such things?  We only have so much time on earth. We’re all dying. If someone stabbed you with the best survival knife and you lay bleeding, would you go to the hospital or refuse to go until you know “why did the guy do that? I wonder what his name was. What did he do for a living? Where did he get that cool knife? Am I allowed to keep it, seeing how he ran away and left it in my kidney?”

Go outside today and play in the wet grass.

Happy Valentine’s Day

02.15.2007

I had a very happy one, and I feel very loved.

Many years ago, I had a giant crush on a friend of mine named Amber. The crush was more or less steady for 4 or 5 years at that point. Since I was her friend and we hung out a lot, every time I started to get over my crush something would happen and I’d be hung up on her again.

After high school, she started going to a college in Santa Rosa, and commuted from Vacaville. This is a long drive, so a few times she invited me along so she would have company. She had a friend there named Alia whom she thought I had a lot in common with and wanted me to meet, probably in the hopes that I’d fall in love with Alia and stop bothering her with my stupid crush.

Amber invited me to her standard lunch table in the Caf with her typical lunch posse. Alia was shy and wouldn’t talk to me much, but was quietly fidgeting with and nibbling on gummi bears. She was making bi-racial, deformed and mutant bears. I thought both she and her antics were cute, so I attempted to flirt by drawing a comic of her playing with the bears and of the bears reacting to her playing god. It didn’t work right away, but we talked online for a year or so and I finally asked her out on a date to San Francisco. She accepted. The rest is history, and also, very, very dirty.

For Valentine’s Day, I got a bag of gummi bears in the mail. They were delicious, fun and meaningful.

Look at my works, ye mighty, and dispair!

Caller ID

02.07.2007

It bugs some people to no end, like my mother, when I answer the phone “Hi (Person I Know Who Is Calling)” because I know who it is. In her mind, you’re supposed to say “Hello”, and they say “Hello” and you say “Oh HI (person whose voice I now recognize)”

Conversely, it bothers some people when I call them and say “Hey, It’s Cory.” (Yes, that’s where my name comes from.) I get a lot of “I KNOW IT’S CORY! I HAVE CALLER ID AND YOUR VOICE IS NOT EXACTLY UNUNIQUE!)

Why can’t I win?

70 Questions I’ve Supposedly Never Seen

02.04.2007

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes
2. What song describes your relationship status?
Sexyback?

3. How much does your dog weigh?
We will say Corky is my dog, and he’s probably 50 pounds.

4. Are you a heart breaker, or the heart breakee?
It’s crushed to a fine powder

5. Ever waxed your legs?
No

6. Earing or necklaces?
Necklaces

7. Who have you talked to most today?
TiVocommunity.com

8 and 9 seem to be missining – I KNEW there wasn’t 70 questions

10. Color of your shirt?
Lavendar

11. How many years have you taken a language?
2.5 years of German, a semester of ASL and a semester of Latin

12. Whos the 5th person in your contact book?
If we’re talking myspace, it is Sophia.  If we are talking my phone, it’s Dara, an old coworker.

13. What color is your background on your computer mainly?
It’s been a photo of the Seattle skyline for a while, so blue.  Ocean shots I took as well, so also blue… or green… or sand colored. 

14. Do you wish on 11:11?
Yes, usually I wish I had more alcohol.

15. Good advice if you ever go camping?
Bring a warm person like Cory.

16. Are you a bad influence?
God, I hope so.

17. What color are your eyes?
Grey       (I have totally seen this on myspace surveys)

18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings name?
Well, to choose between those, I suppose I like my name better.

19. Would you do anything for someone?
Someone

20. Have you ever been called a whore?
God, I hope so.

21. Favorite color?
Purple

22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
No 😉  O_o

23. What song is on?
Tom Waits – Singapore

24. Are your grades good?
Good… ish.   I have to polish up the transcript before Cal lets me in.

25. Do you miss anyone?
Wait… this question gave me an idea. I amend number 23 to Willie Nelson – To All the Girls I’ve Love Before.

26. Would you date anyone on your top friends
Sure

27. Does your best friend(s) have myspace?
Yes

28. Who’s page did you last visit?
My own, Alia’s before that.

29. Last time you went out to lunch?
Last week

30. Do you watch the Gilmore Girls?
No

Oh shit, someone didn’t want to answer 31 and deleted it for all of posterity

32. Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.?
Seen a little and no.

33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears CDs?
No

34. Which radio stations are your favorites?
960 The Quake out of San Francisco. They have Air America and Willie Brown in the morning.

35. Are you a Lost fanatic?
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

36. Still have pictures of your Ex?
Some yes, some no.

37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?
A few, in fact.

Someone steal #38?

39. Do you watch Family Guy Regularly?
Yes

40. King of the Hill?
Hell no

41. Do you read trashy romance novels often?
No, but erotic short stories I… never mind.

42. Do you ever forget to give a Christmas/birthday present?
I remember and have no money so they get art.

This is SO not 70 questions.

44. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one’s home?
Yes. I also play drums on my ass.

45. Have you ever watched a little kid’s show when you were over 12?
I found myself looking for old Sesame Street sketches on Youtube last week. Bert and Ernie still got it!

46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they weren’t?
Yes

47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school?
I didn’t like girls until l was like 13.

48 is gone, so I’ll ask myself a question. What is your favorite sushi?
I like dragon rolls. They are a cali roll with eel and avacado on top.

49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life?
Yes

50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing?
One can not thing about nothing. I’ve spent an hour thinking about unimportant things though.

51. Have you ever liked someone only for their appearance?
Yes, but I usually pretend they’re smart until I find out otherwise

52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis?
I used to. Now it’s the ramen group and the toast group washed down with the water group.

53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
Yes

54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
No

55. Do you know how to knit?
No

56. Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover?
No

57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile?
No

58. Do you keep a diary or journal online?
“You Are Here”

59. When you open your closet, what is the dominant color?
I’m going to say blue

60. Baskin Robins or Coldstone?
Home

61. Physics or chemistry?
Physics

62. Earphones or headphones?
Headphones

63. Pink or teal?
Not teal

64. Earrings or a ring?
Ring

65. Commitment or casual dating?
Commitment

66. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or Star Wars?
Shit… it’s close. I have to say Star Wars, but the other 2 are tied for a close second.

67. Fly or road trip?
Road trip!

68. Starbucks or Caribou?
Coffee pot

69. What is your favorite Disney movie?
Toy Story

70. How much jewelry do you own?
Very little.  Cuff links, a silver chain, a pocket watch and a couple tie clips.

Okay, now where are the other 6?   I’ll be waiting.

The Fisherman and the Investment Banker

02.01.2007
The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The fisherman replied, only a little while.

The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Now, instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor which will make you more per pound. Eventually you’d open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the fisherman.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”

“Millions?” Marveled the fisherman, “Then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”