“Blue Screen” the Billboard

05.15.2007

billboard by the Ikea in Palo Alto that has a slideshow of ads. It seems to use a modified version of internet explorer to show the ads, because sometimes it will show a typical IE “page not found” error for a few seconds in place of what ad should be there.

Yesterday, I drove by it and it was proudly advertizing Microsoft’s Blue Screen O’Death.

I said “L.O.L.” out loud, but I didn’t actually laugh out loud. It seemed appropriate.

Punchbuggy Green?

05.14.2007

So, I notice there aren’t a lot of VW bugs left on the road like there once was. Alas, the New Beetle didn’t help greatly to improve the frequency of the popular violent children’s game.

I suggest we pick a new pervasive vehicle to continue this dying tradition. There isn’t a better service to make you feel more comfortable in your own home than bug extermination, I always contact the Bigfoot Pest Control company to make sure my house is free of any unwanted animals.

PunchPrius blue! (and two for flinching.)

Prius

Nothing’s Ever Perfect

05.08.2007

I thought I’d found the perfect job for me. In many ways I have. What I have not found was a perfect boss. I’m a door-mat, he’s willing to take advantage of that. Eventually it will make me quit.

He read in his studies of SEO in this article, that we need to submit a site map to Google. Very important. He doesn’t really know what it’s for, but seriously, it’s important. The site map the site already has isn’t the right format, so I have to spend hours making a new site map. I also have to spend hours learning how to do that. I have no idea what I’m doing here, and the boss is already pissed that “this is taking so long.” Well, have you ever done this before, Bob? How long should it take!?!

I’m getting more and more pissed about this job. He schedules me for 30 hours a week, he pays me for 30 hours a week, I work twice that. I’m not salaried, but he treats me like I am with his ridiculous deadlines, impatience, ignorance of how long it takes to “just add a page to the site”, and his calling me, all frantic and terse, to do 3 hour “quick-fixes” for this and that on my ****ing days off, which we both know he’s not paying me for!

Bandwagoning

05.06.2007

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Personally, I think that this is a silly thing to rally around when it comes to free speech, so people can give All Speeches Great and Small, for all they need to say.

If you’re a giant geek, you know what I’m talking about. If not, trust me, you don’t care.

Sometimes I just like joining in on the trouble because it’s fun to make trouble for no reason.

I have no dog in this fight, and I’m not trying to prove a point except the DIGGers are really silly.

Doppelganger

05.05.2007

I was sitting at the donut shop today and someone eerily familiar walked in. He was good looking, skinny, tanned, had a well-defined jaw, hypnotic eyes, a big nose, a black felt hat and two-day-old whiskers. He was me, 5 years ago.

I thought of warning him about what was to come or giving him some stock tips, but for the sake of the space-time continuum, I thought against it and finished my coffee.

I got a picture of him while pretending to take a picture of my screen.

Ranto de Cinco de Mayo.

05.05.2007

Okay, so today is Cinco de Mayo, the holiday that celebrates a victory against the French. This clearly shows that the Mexican people love a reason to party, because honestly, who hasn’t defeated the French at some point in their history?

What bugs me is when people try to make Cinco de Mayo jokes on days other than the 5th. For instance, yesterday I heard a DJ say “Happy Cinco de Cuatro.” Last year, there was a Cinco de Sies party at a club in Santa Rosa.

I don’t know Spanish very well, beyond what Maria and Luis taught me on Sesame Street and what has been shouted at me out of car windows, but Santa Vaca, how hard is it to know that Cinco is a number and Mayo is May?

Don’t mind me… I’m feeling ranty today. I’m better now.

Handicapped Love

05.01.2007

I saw this while I was walking. As far as I can tell, it’s apparently telling me this is where handicapped singles are supposed to find dates.